Ubuntu – I Am Because We Are

December 2, 2022

Oke Iroegbu

International House is a laboratory for a new kind of experiment – the day-to-day practice of international fellowship among men and women.
– John D. Rockefeller Jr., I-House Benefactor

It’s up to us, the residents, to continue building on this legacy of love, understanding, justice, and peace.
– Okechukwu Iroegbu, I-House resident 2022-2023

A popular saying in Africa goes: Between true friends even water drunk together is sweet enough. I’ve dined with residents from different countries and each time I see them, I consider them family. Reflecting on both the proverb and quotes above, I found the mission and vision of the founders of I-House aligned with my belief in friendship, cooperation, and fellowship. I’ll add that there is beauty in diversity because our different shades make the I-House experience even more colorful. Don’t you think?

Let me share the origins of I-House from our history booklet:

International House Berkeley was part of the larger “International House Movement” founded by Harry Edmonds of New York. As a young man working for the Young Men’s Christian Association in 1909, Edmonds had a chance meeting with a Chinese student. Edmonds’ casual greeting of” good morning” on the steps of the Columbia University library provoked the startled response coming from the student. “I’ve been in New York three weeks, and you are the first person who has spoken to me.” Moved by this experience, Edmonds investigated the situation of foreign students in New York City. Attempting to counter the loneliness and isolation of these students, Edmonds and his wife, Florence, started to have teas and Sunday Suppers in their home. By 1911, this practice led to the development of the Cosmopolitan College Club. By 1919, the Club included over 600 students representing more than 65 countries, and its activities consisted of excursions, social events and housing assistance.

Convinced of the need to find a place where foreign and US students could live together and thereby promote international understanding, Edmonds encouraged John D. Rockefeller to build International House in New York. Its success prompted Rockefeller to extend the idea to the West coast and Berkeley, in the Bay Area was selected because it was the US point of entry from Asia and has the largest number of foreign students by that time. ¹

Through thick and thin, International House at UC Berkeley survived and has since been a beacon of hope for a world free of racism and prejudice.

Recently, I was privileged to attend two special “gratitude” dinners: A special Sunday Supper organized for the I-House Resident Council at the home of I-House Executive Director Shaun Carver, and the Friendsgiving dinner held at I-House organized by current residents. I’ll tell you more about my experiences below.

Sunday Supper for the Resident Council

Thanksgiving is a time of reflection. It’s indeed a time to count one’s blessings, be grateful, and show love to others. This formed part of Mr. Carver’s welcome speech when the I-House Resident Council visited his home for a special Sunday Supper in the tradition of Florence and Harry Edmonds.

Mr. Carver’s home overlooks the fine neighborhood. Trees form straight lines as they follow the road. From the dining windows, one can see treetops among the clouds. Mr. Carver explained that the window views capture the beautiful sunset. The evening was cold and windy, but the fireplace kept everyone warm. Mr. Jay Paxton, an I-House board member arrived, and the table was set. While waiting for dinner, discussions about the history of I-House and UC Berkeley ensued.

During the chats and breakaway discussions, Mrs. Carver announced that dinner was ready, and we all proceeded to the dining tables. Mr. Carver shared a speech on thankfulness and how it had become a tradition he so much revered. His speech ended with everyone raising their glasses to a toast and inviting us all to eat. The dinner came to an end with more discussions ranging from American politics to art and management.

A lot of pleasantries and greetings followed as the resident council members got to know each other and the Carver family at this special gathering.

Friendsgiving at I-House Berkeley

Fun. That’s one word I would use to describe my first experience of Friendsgiving in America.

I have heard of Thanksgiving but never Friendsgiving. It was at I-House that I became familiar with the word. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines Friendsgiving as: a celebration or meal shared among friends on or near Thanksgiving Day.

Friendsgiving started off with soft music playing in the background. It was 5.30 p.m. and the tables were set. Just by the doorway, there were lemonade and water, and residents can have as much as they wanted. As more residents arrived, the gratitude board was brought in by Jordan, the Resident Assistant in charge. She asked everyone to sit with people they weren’t friends with before. After a little table reshuffling, dinner was announced, and residents queued to serve themselves.

I remember that there were mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, and a lot of other traditional food on the table, but what caught my attention was the inviting and generous portions of fried turkey. The food was delicious, and the turkey was a pleasant surprise.

However, more important than this feast was the opportunity to get to know each other.

While lively discussions occurred throughout the dinner, I asked the residents sitting at my table to play a game. We asked questions on geography, particularly identifying countries on different continents. Yordanos, Thor, Arthur, Sirak, and I took turns mentioning countries in Africa, Asia, Europe, and South America. It dawned on me that these residents were smart cookies!

The chance to talk to others and share in their smiles and happiness brings warmth to me. Sitting together and expressing gratitude not just as an individual but as a group of people from different nations proved that love knows no creed, religion, or race. As I always say, the I-House experience is an education of its own.

I had the opportunity to make new friends. I’ll remain grateful for all these wonderful experiences I-House affords, for fostering unfettered cooperation among young people, for making me see things from other’s perspectives, and for the wonderful friends who had impacted my life in a short time. This opportunity to share in the joys of others, to meet friends, and to make new ones will stay with me for a very long time.

It reminds me of the African term Ubuntu which places emphasis on ‘being self through others.’

Ubuntu – I am because we are!

Finally, I would like to share a recent video of seven other International House residents reflecting on their living experience at I-House and sharing what they’re grateful for.